Why Performing Confidence Never Works (And What to Do Instead)
- Maricho Dumale
- 6 日前
- 読了時間: 2分
You can always feel the difference between confidence that’s real and confidence that’s being performed.
And if you’ve ever tried to act confident—only to walk away feeling exhausted, tense, or strangely disconnected—there’s a reason for that.
Performing confidence doesn’t fail because you’re doing it wrong.
It fails because confidence was never meant to be performed in the first place.
The Subtle Cost of “Trying to Look Confident”
Many of us were taught that confidence looks a certain way.
Speak clearly.
Stand tall.
Sound sure.
So when the moment matters—a meeting, an interview, a presentation—we focus on how we’re coming across instead of how we’re actually feeling.
That’s when confidence becomes something you manage instead of something you inhabit.
Your body tightens.
Your breath shortens.
Your voice strains to sound a certain way.
Your mind starts monitoring every word.
And even if everything looks “right” on the outside, inside you feel off.
A Lesson From the Stage
In acting, there’s a word for this: presentational.
It means you’re showing an emotion instead of living it.
Indicating confidence instead of embodying it.
And here’s something every actor knows—
The audience can always tell.
Not because they’re analyzing you.
But because the body speaks louder than words.
This doesn’t just happen on stage.
It happens in boardrooms, classrooms, and everyday conversations.
When confidence is presentational, people sense the effort.
When confidence is embodied, they feel the truth.
What Embodied Confidence Actually Feels Like
Real confidence isn’t louder.
It isn’t bigger.
It isn’t more polished.
It’s calmer.
When confidence is embodied:
Your body settles instead of bracing
Your breath deepens naturally
Your voice finds its own rhythm
Your presence feels grounded, not forced
You’re no longer trying to convince anyone.
You’re simply aligned with yourself.
That’s why some people don’t say much—but everyone listens.
It’s not performance.
It’s coherence.
Stop Performing. Start Aligning.
Stopping “performing confidence” doesn’t mean shrinking.
It doesn’t mean becoming quiet.
And it definitely doesn’t mean hiding.
It means letting go of the need to prove something
and allowing yourself to be something.
Confidence isn’t something you put on.
It’s something that emerges when your body, breath, and voice are working together.
And when that happens, people don’t question it.
They trust it.
A Gentle Reflection
The next time you feel pressure to sound confident, pause and ask yourself:
Am I trying to manage how I’m perceived?
Or am I allowing myself to be present?
Confidence that’s real doesn’t ask for permission.
It doesn’t demand attention.
It simply arrives when you do.
And remember — even if today feels limited, how your life unfolds is Unlimited.
You Are Unlimited. 🌈
✨If this resonated, you’ll love the full video — watch it here 👇
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